My 7 days of silence: Mindfulness practices to embrace during a pandemic
I've been meaning to write about my recent experience at a silent meditation retreat, but life managed to get in the way - job changes, birthday parties, health issues, breakups. I was overwhelmed with noise and wanted nothing more than the time to stop and breathe. Yet here I am, in the midst of a pandemic, wanting nothing more than the time to pass. I’ve felt so many emotions over the last couple of weeks - a spectrum of loneliness, despair, and disbelief and not surprisingly, I’ve watched my meditation practice crumble when I needed it most. As much as I would love to curate a new itinerary for travel, it seems much more fitting to channel my learnings from the retreat and share an itinerary for navigating the mind during these difficult times.
Ram Dass, one of the foremost spiritual leaders of our time, once said “the quieter you become, the more you can hear.” I didn’t fully understand what he meant until I spent a week in "noble silence" at a meditation retreat. The goal was to cease speaking but more importantly to remove myself from the distractions of everyday life. In some ways, and in more unfortunate circumstances, we're all being forced to do this now. We are quarantined in our homes, desperate for social interaction, and seemingly removed from the reality we once knew weeks ago. I acknowledge, we are not on a retreat and we are forced to face the worst of the voices in our head, but there is immense potential for personal growth. Maybe we can take this time as an opportunity for introspection - to become a better version of ourselves...to search within, realize what's important in life, and learn to control our persistent thoughts.
FINDING GRATITUDE
Given the state of the world, it's no surprise that I wake up every morning to a flurry of negative thoughts. The day has barely begun and I've already spiraled into mental abyss. Silence can cause your mind to go straight to self-criticism, particularly in moments of extreme anxiety. During my seven day retreat, my mind was a clutter of judgement on career choices, relationships and general inability to stop judging myself. Our minds constantly wander to worst case scenarios on a normal day so it's no surprise that many of us are struggling now more than ever. Sadly, this anxiety provides no real comfort. During my retreat, I learned a lot about channeling my inner gratitude - to refocus the energy of these thoughts on what I should be thankful for, and it helped me immensely when I felt myself wanting to abandon the process all together. Can you acknowledge the challenges of your current state but also be grateful for what you do have? Just a couple weeks ago, you likely didn't think twice about your ability to leave home, see friends, and share a meal with someone. We would be so grateful to be given the ability to do these things now. Let's not take for granted what we do have - the basic necessities that many people lack - food, shelter, and the people who love and care for us.
This is a list of my favorite meditations on gratitude:
APPRECIATING DIFFERENCES
During the retreat, if I wasn't judging myself, I was judging others and it was unsettling to realize what my mind would gravitate to. Realizing these thoughts was an inflection point for me. I was so focused on differences that I couldn't recognize the similarities.
I suppose it takes a pandemic for our minds to temporarily cease the judgement we cast on others. This photo of a Palestinian and Israeli first responder praying together amidst the pandemic was beautiful reminder of this. In fact, it almost feels like all of the conflict in the world has been reorganized to collectively fight one common enemy - this pandemic. Our unified suffering during this time reminds us of what we share in common - compassion, the will to survive, and unconditional love - the things that matter most in this life. Let’s take this time to rewire ourselves to embrace the differences.
COMPASSION FOR SUFFERING
Reintegration into the real world after a silent retreat can be intensely difficult. To ease the process, on the last day, the teacher delivered one piece of despairing news - a Jewish family in Brooklyn was stabbed in their home. It sounds gruesome as I write it, but I know if I heard it in my routine world, I would take one sigh of disappointment and return to daily life. In the retreat, I felt it intensely. I cried and genuinely felt the suffering of this family and the Jewish people in a way I never had before. The world is full of suffering and unless we are directly impacted by it, we rarely take a moment to feel it.
For the first time in a long time, this pandemic has forced us to collectively feel this suffering and bring compassion back to a world of numbness. I already see it happening with my relationships. I am developing deeper bonds with my loved ones - talking about real things that matter in life and finding new ways to channel my creativity. I find myself being compassionate to the suffering of others because I know in a blink of an eye, it could be me. This pandemic has forced our hearts to open. Let's nurture and support one another as best we can.
These are a few ways I'm connecting with friends and family:
Phoning friends that live alone and don't have a support system
Scheduling virtual dinners with family and friends
Celebrating milestones virtually (birthdays, bridal showers, etc.)
Sending care packages to family & friends
Writing a letter to yourself or someone you love